Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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