therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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