I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
