The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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