OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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