how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
