Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
