i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Randomize
