my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Operation Purity has been aborted
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
