I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
