I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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