that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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