Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
