mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
