fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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