my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
