last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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