You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
