STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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