The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
