Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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