and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
