New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
