This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
