sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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