ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
