I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
