He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize