Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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