omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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