I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
