i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
