We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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