i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
