My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
