Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
