After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
