wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
