I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
