Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
