i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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