you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
