I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So many bounce houses so little time
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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