Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize