i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
