this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize