So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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