I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
