I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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