I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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