Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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