I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We are two peas in an std pod
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
