This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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