well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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