if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
