Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
