Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
