uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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