You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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