i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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