Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
