I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
