We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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