Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
