apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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