she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
