Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
