4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
