You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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