I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
