I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
