i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
