nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
