so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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