in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
